Posts (page 2)

rip city
river city
bridgetown
little beirut
puddletown
rose city
stumptown

portland

home

i really really miss it and i wish i was there right now

...when you automatically thumb your ventrilo push-to-talk button before saying something to your co-worker who is sitting behind you.

In an Scienceblog Article about the chemical marker and cloud formation agent DMS, we have the following.

"A more controversial figure from Siffkey's past was its rector, Rev Harold Davidson, who was defrocked in 1932 after allegedly 'cavorting with' London prostitutes. He later joined a circus and died after being mauled to death by a lion in Skegness. The UEA scientists are hoping to avoid such a fate, said Prof Johnston!"

So the House of Lords, despite being made up in significant part by Clergymen who get to sit there without being elected, did the right thing and defeated a challenge to the Equality Act.

"New rules outlawing businesses from discriminating against homosexuals have been upheld in the House of Lords.

A challenge led by Lord Morrow of the Democratic Unionist Party failed by a margin of three to one." (read more at The Beeb)

Essentially the right wingnuts had argued that forcing them to allow gay couples to share a bed in a guesthouse they ran violated their rights by forcing them to "facilitate sodomy".

What impressed me about the whole issue was not simply the scorchingly blatant bigotry these "christians" were willing to display, but also the moronic quality of their argument.

After all.. no one is forcing them to run a guesthouse. They chose to engage in the business, and they're obliged to then obey the regulations pertaining to that business.

If they don't want to "facilitate sodomy" they have the option of doing something else for a living. It's not like they're being required by law to put up any passing gay couple in their beds.

It's like arguing that your right to shit in your pans shouldn't be affected if you opt to serve food cooked in them to the public. If you want to be a filthy motherfucker, or a bigoted motherfucker, in private, go ahead. That's your right. The second you start running it as a business, your right to engage in subhuman fuckery of any kind, whether it's defecating in the utensils or being a socially crippled, hate-filled shitstain on the ass of humanity, becomes subject to regulation. Tough luck, fucktards.

Alright. I've never really thought of myself as a "hairy" person. I've got a bit of body hair, but I've never really had cause to pay attention to it. Never had scary-hairy-back issues, never had to consider ass-waxing and my chest is about as hairy as the average girl's arm. You get the picture, I'm sure. Body hair really has just been a non-issue in my life.

Until this morning, when my body hair got in the way of my plans to not die young.

Ok. Some explaining. I recently quit smoking. I'm using nicotine replacement therapy. Until this weekend, the gum was fine, only I had a wisdom tooth out on Friday so.. no chewing! I didn't fancy facing both nicfits and horrendous jaw pain, so I went out and got some of those 24 hour patch thingies. Dead easy, low maintainance, slap it on in the morning, forget about it.

Only.. you can only put it on the same spot once very seven days, or you get a bit of a nasty rash. Fair enough. Just find a different spot each day. It's about  2 inches on a side and I have way more skin than that. No worries.

I should have paid more attention to the instructions. It said "pick a clean, hairless area of your arm or upper torso"..  by "hairless" I assumed it meant not like those poor ape-looking motherfuckers I see down the pool. Yep. That's me. No body hair issues. Right.. all set then!

Oh no.

Oh nononono.

It means no fucking hair at all

Days one to four, no problem. Upper arms totally hair free really. Enough flat spots to slap it on each arm twice in relatively non-flexing areas.

Day five.. move to the chest. Pick a relatively clear area, slap it on

Day six.. peel it ofOOOOOOFUCKINGHELL.. ah.. ok.. it's over.. OH FUCK.. OH FUCK NO

And now it's half off and you can't stop and you can't push it back on because it won't stick again and it'll flap around like a giant skin tag and anyway you need the nicotine the sweet fresh nicotine so you just have to.. keep.. going.

I'm sorry. It was just. fucking. horrendous. I shoulda cowboyed up and just hauled it off bikiniwax style, but I didn't have the guts. Each hair screamed as i tore it out at the root. and there were lots. i mean *lots*. Nearly invisible little ninja hairs waiting to torture me. About 2 excruciating minutes later the patch is on the floor and I'm jumping up and down on it cursing, and bleeding a bit from a couple of the spots where hairs *used* to be.

And really I'm fucked. I can't shave the patch of skin I'm going to put it on.. the minor skin damage will make the nicotine absorb way too fast, not to mention burn like a sonofabitch.. I can't go back to gum.. even if I wanted to, the patch works much, much better for me, so I have to either suck it up, or chemically remove every hair on my body.

I'm undecided at the moment. Will tell you tomorrow.

I'm also never getting into a fight with a girl who waxes her bikini line.